Behind, Bored, and Sleepy

I'm already so behind in my class and we've only had one week of it since the midterm. I think I've spent too much time on one lecture -- Pulmonary Mechanics. I was lost when I was reading the scribes and the assigned book readings. Now, I figure I should probably listen to it, but since its three hours and since I've read the books to death, I don't think I will. Seriously, one lecture has never taken me so long to understand. Bah. My midterm, which was cardio, totally kicked my butt. I was afraid I failed it when I turned it in, but THANK GOD, somehow, I managed to pass. I need to pass this next exam (in 3 weeks) and I will pass this stupid class. I don't think I've ever hated a class more than this one. Anyways, I'm trying to incorporate boards studying along with this class because everywhere I look, they're telling me to follow along in review books and make notes so that it'll be easier to review next semester before the exam. I think I will review neuro or pharm during my fall break. I guess as long as I manage to review all old material by December, that might put me ahead. I dunno. I feel like I don't know how to study for this ginormous ass exam. If I ever had panic attacks about the MCAT, I'm sure I'm going to get them with this one :(

Even though I should be studying all the time, I can't do it. I need something to do as a break, and I don't know what. Maybe read books, but I usually end up reading too much in one sitting and wasting time that I really can't afford to be wasting. I don't have enough self-control to only read one chapter at a time haha. So yea. Need something for a break.

On top of the stress of this class and the stress that I'm starting to feel because of boards, I SLEEP TOO MUCH. Or at least it feels like I am sleeping too much. I might not be since I'm waking up tired every morning. I go to sleep around 1 at the latest and I try waking up at 8, but I just can't do it for more than a couple of days at a time. After doing that all week (meaning Monday and Tuesday), I could not wake up until 11:20ish today. I was planning on listening to a lecture in the morning. What a waste. Tomorrow, I'm going to be in class all day -- Ethics from 10-12 and our faculty likes talking way too much. Everytime we say something, he stops the discussion and says, "let's talk about that a little more," and he goes on to talk about only God knows what while our eyes glaze over. Ugh. Anyways, then I get a 2 hour break, and then pathology lab from 2-4:30, and we usually take the ENTIRE time. That's like my whole day tomorrow. I HATE THURSDAYS. Ughh. AND we have that stupid ass ethics paper due tomorrow by 5pm. I'm done with it, but I just need to proofread it and then submit it. I think that paper is probably the worst paper I have ever written... and I'm not even remotely anything close to a good writer. I just don't care. Its worth like 2.5% of my grade and they won't fail us unless we completely disregard the prompt. So I'm not worried.

I really just want to sit at home and do nothing at all. Sleep until I wake up on my own and not force myself to get out of bed, and not frantically study to catch up. I have a lot of work to do this weekend; I can already tell. I have 5 multiple hour lectures (meaning some are 3 hours and some are 2 hours) that I need to listen to and go over. I should listen to one tonight, but I'm just so exhausted. I woke up late, had class at 1, studied until 5, went to tutoring for 2 hours, came back, ate dinner and took a 1 hour long break bc of my headache, and did lab reading. Now, I think i'm just going to write notes pertaining to the lecture learning issues they gave us and then call it a night. I'll listen to one lecture tomorrow, one on Friday, one on Saturday, and one on Sunday and one Monday morning... If I manage to do that and go over the notes at the same time, maybe I'll be caught up by Monday afternoon. What's more likely is that I'll only be able to do 3 lectures, and I'll still be behind next week. FML.

I know I'm whiny today. I've had a headache since 5 and it went away with food and some caffeine, but it came back again. ugh.

I have the entire Taylor Swift album. Her music is my guilty pleasure. Duuuuuuuuuuuude..
The song with "she wears short skirts, I wear tshirts" and she says how the guy she likes is always after that kind of girl. Story of my life.

Until the next one.